Everything was great. Life was fine. Things were just rolling along. And then while I was taking a shower this morning I automatically began singing:
“Baby, baby, baby, OHHHHH, like, baby, baby, baby, NOOOOOOO, like … “
WHERE DID THAT COME FROM???
I thought I had gotten through the worst. Just like when H1N1 came to town I took all my herbs and vitamins and escaped unscathed. When Beiber fever showed up in early spring, I switched the radio when he came on. I would not be taken.
So HOW exactly did I catch the fever now?
*I just switched to another website tab and unconsciously began EMPHATICALLY WHISTLING “Baby.” Dear. God.
You want to take a gander at what yields a Google Search for “Justin Bieber?”
A related search suggestion for “justin bieber impregnated his mother?” I truly don’t want to know.
So remember when I gave The Ellen DeGeneres show mad props yesterday? Yeah, well forget it. It was on her show that I was formally introduced to the Bieber this morning. He sang “Baby” and gave a horrid interview with “like” for every other word. And now I’ve been singing “Baby” ALL DAY.
And while we’re at it, take a look at his WEBSITE:
MY WORLD 2.0?! I’m half disgusted with myself to think I was clever to use 2.0 in the company of the Bieb and half outraged that a 16-year-old pop star thinks his 16-year-old self is the 2.0 version of what, his 8-year-old self? GIMMIE A BREAK, KID.
I also broke down and watched the “Baby” music video. 242 million views. Sick. And is it just me or is Drake an extra in it? 1:14 mark.
I CAN’T TAKE IT! IT’S TOO MUCH! I’VE GOT BIEBER FEVER AND THE ONLY PRESCRIPTION IS…MORE BIEBER.
Today is clearly brought to you by Justin Bieber. Kill me.