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Two-and-a-half-minute Fiction Prahject

two-and-a-half-minute fiction prahject: take 3

I have been incredibly delinquent, but I have good excuses, I promise. Proof: tomorrow’s post.

But when I give myself a deadline, I keep it, and it is still Monday for three more hours. So here’s another fiction piece. It’s a little silly. My cat and my aunt’s cat were the inspiration. They met once (while both caged) traded some hisses and raised fur. I’d like to imagine their meeting in a lower pressure situation would go something like this:

two-and-a-half-minute fiction prahject

‘Two Cats Walk Into a Bar’

“So how’d you get a stupid name like Cuddles?”

“How did you know my name?”

“You’re wearing it around your neck, there, Cuds.”

“Wha? Oh. Hey! Where’s your collar?”

“I don’t wear one. I’m a free spirit. I do what I please. And that includes not being collared by the man.”

“The man?”

“Yeah, my human.”

“I’ve got humans. They’re lovely people.”

“Can’t be that lovely if they named you Cuddles.”

“These people are my forever home. A two-year-old with a fistful of my luscious Norwegian fur mistook her choke hold on me for cuddling. She was at my first home.”

“So you’ve been around the block a few times, sugar?”

“Just twice! Besides, you don’t know the first thing about being a free spirit.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah!”

“Enlighten me, sweetheart.”

“Do you know the feeling of the wind in your fur?”

“Do you?”

“Actually … no. But I hear it’s quite nice.”

“So you’re indoor too.”

“Yes. But I don’t regret it. My humans tell me there are big scary things out there. Though feeling the wind thing would be nice.”

“Big scary things? I wouldn’t believe everything the humans say.”

“You’re not a sympathizer are you.”

“Human sympathizer? No. You have no idea what kind of BS they’re feeding you.”

“I very much enjoy my meals, thank you very much.”

“No, no, no. Not the food they feed you. What they tell you.”

“Like what?”

‘Like the big scary things outside, and not to jump on the counters … ”

“You jump on the counters??”

“You don’t?”

“You do?”

“Hell, yes, I do!”

“But the cold liquid!”

“The what?”

“The cold clear liquid they squirt at you when you jump on things you shouldn’t jump on!”

“You mean water?”

“That’s not water.”

“It is so! It’s the same thing you drink out of your little filtered water bowl!”

“It is?”

“Yes!”

“How do you know?”

“It tastes the same.”

“You’ve tasted it?’

“You haven’t?”

“No!”

“Good grief.”

— a few minutes of stunned silence passes —-

“Why did you even come over here? I was perfectly happy with my lovely fresh salmon entree and my lovely skim milk.”

“Because you winked at me.”

“I did not! I have conjunctivitis!”

“Save it for a shorthair who cares, lady.” *turns to leave, swishing tail*

“You mackerel tabbies are all the same. You think just because you have that slick little ‘M’ on your forehead that all the felines will land on their feet for you. Well, let me tell you something, mister … hey, what is your name anyway?

“Jack. Just call me Jack.”

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  1. Pingback: prah family ‘prahgeny’ turn 1! « Prah 2.0 - June 8, 2010

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